Day 17: So You Had a Bad Day...

Yeah, I had a bad day. In fact, I would go so far as to describe it as "crappy ass". Work was overwhelming and my spirits seem to be in the dumps. About halfway through the day, I just hit a low. It happens. I just start to question everything in my life, particularly right now my job. I'm feeling sort of stuck and more than a little overwhelmed. I told Scott the other night that he really needs to get his butt in gear because it would be nice if he could support me in the manner to which I'd like to become accustomed. And I was only half kidding.

My usual MO when this mood hits me is to comfort myself with food. I thought about it. Oh, how I thought about it. Towards the end of my work day, I took a break and strolled outside for a few minutes. The Mister Softee truck on the corner was playing his sweet siren song, calling to me with the promise of comfort in the form of a chocolate shake. Like and alcoholic confronted with bottle of vodka, I pulled out my phone and called my sponsor, the ever supportive Princess Elaine, and said, "You've got to talk me down. I want a chocolate shake." And bless her heart she did. She made me laugh and forget about the fact that I wanted a chocolate shake. And then warned me if I went ahead and got it anyway, she'd know, because she was a Jewish mother and she has all seeing eyes in the back of her head. And you know what? I believed her. She worked that guilt like a freakin' maestro, and in the end I stopped at the fruit stand and got a banana instead. Everyone should have a well practiced Jewish mother in their lives. Thank you my sistah princess!

When I got home from work, I was suffering from a complete lack of gumption. I had planned on cooking dinner, but instead I just ended up throwing together a whole wheat wrap with chicken breast, avocado, and pineapple salsa. Then I mindlessly played games on the computer for a while trying to work up the will and desire to exercise. Finally around 9, I decided that if I didn't get off my butt and out of the house I would ended up standing in front of the fridge and no good can come of that.

Maybe a walk would improve my mood. So I put on my sneakers and mp3 player and headed out the door. I didn't walk particularly fast, although, anyone who has ever walked the streets of New York with me, knows that my regular gait is quite lively. I ended up walking up to the north end of Hoboken and then following the river all the way to the south end, before coming halfway back and doing those godforsaken stairs and the hill at Stevens Institute of Technology. All told it was 4.7 miles, 11052 steps, 10953 aerobic steps and 464 calories burned.

As I wandered along, I kept skipping to the "wallowing" songs on my mp3 player, Joni Mitchell, Billy Bragg, Tom Waits, Cat Stevens, Harry Chapin, singing out loud when I was out of earshot (because why should others have to suffer with me?) When I got home, my mood hadn't really improved, but at least I didn't console myself with food.

Yes, I'm in full on poor, poor pitiful me stage right now.

But this too shall pass...